Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Nah Stat-Man!

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Stat-Man Week 5

I have a confession dear reader, as a dyslexic (took me way too many goes to spell that.) engineer, I am not the greatest of wordsmiths, I also very rarely proof-read anything. So I do apologise for how bitty my writing is.

A moral Dilemma also faces me, to count the threes Sunday cup game or not, the journalist inside me says yes, the fact it would put Pearson top of the goal scoring chart says no.

But I am Stat-man not Stats-I-like-man so please won’t someone knock him off.

Results

Returning to a more logical progression of games this week we will be starting with the 1s who learned two things North Somerset is far away, and they are good at hockey. Fish’s team lost 5-3 with goals coming from woody, bean, and Denman. This result leaves the first team bottom of the championship. I’ve heard they are just making their push for promotion that much more dramatic.

The 1’s game against C***** 2s ended in a 3-3 draw but it could have been different if it wasn’t for a disallowed Harry York goal. Goals came from Skelly, Fish and Elliot.

The twos offer the other side of the proverbial coin by putting themselves joint top of De Cymru & The Marches 2, after beating previously unbeaten C***** 6-2. The goals came from Jake H x 2 Zeyn x2 Hamster who I think is Kieran, and Thommo who I can only assume is James Thompson (thanks for making that cryptic for me bellando). They currently sit in second on goal difference, behind a team who have scored at a ridiculous 5.5 goals a game and only conceded 1 to this point so… good luck with that. On Wednesday the 2’s played USW and continued their recent traditions of mauling teams, to the extent it’s reminiscent of the bear in The Revenant. Goals came from Brogan x 3, Zeyn, and Helicon with an absolute screamer of a volley. The final score was 5-2.

Someone call Fifa and tell them to get onto making a hockey game, as we have our very own Alex Hunter (Stringer) story happening in Swansea. Started as a young lad at wing back transferred to Swansea stuck up front in desperate times and on Saturday he captained his side to their first win of the season by putting away his second hat-trick for Swansea (1st this year). The final score was 5-2 the other goals coming from Jack B and Whitey. This result leaves the threes 8th out of 11 in De Cyrmu 1 with games in hand on those around them.

Another great result for the 3’s on Sunday this time without Stringer who was struck down by food poisoning, Owen getting his own back probably. Final result was 8-0 you probably already know Pearson got 4, Lloyd put away 3, and Gavin kept himself on the top scorers chart by getting 1.

The 4’s had only their second Saturday loss since their creation this week unfortunately it comes only a week after their first ever. The captains Pearson with 2 goals, and chilli with one attempted to spark a revival but they went down 5-3 to Whitchurch D and now sit 3rd in the league.

100 Up

The first Land mark for the club has been reached with the club reaching goals. Big number 100 was an appropriately sick goal off Brogans reverse after beating about 5 players.

The clubs 100 goals have come from 34 games and 17 mins. This means the club is scoring at impressive rate of a goal every 23.8 minutes.

Top Goal Scorer

No comment.

Brick Wall Award

A new entry on this chart and he deserves a mention for filling in, so go you Jonty, go you. All of the clubs recognised keepers have also now kept a clean sheet as the competition hots up.

The Liability Award

This table has also been cut down but don’t worry I still have the full list. Also a quick apology to Jamie as he seems to have suffered a bit of the curse of the commentator after I said he had been good, this week scoring a huge 9 points.